I Get Weak

obviously for no reason. Im feeling quite broken all of a sudden. hopefully this is just temporary. :/

There Are Times When You Need Someone.

"I will be by your side."




I have a new boyfriend. His name is Walter "Poppie Lil-Cam" Lee Lawson. And he seems to be the sweetest, most gentle thing around town. I say "seems" with slight caution because although he is nice and everything checks out fine, his people just arent buyin our relationship. Well, i shouldn't say his people. Just certain people. And it really disappoints me because i thought this was so great that everyone loved "us". All his besties, all mine; Everyone i know is a mutual friend of his and vice versa. I felt so amazing! (: <- real smile, by the way. And now people hate me (more specifically, just the fact that he has a new girlfriend) just because his little ass Ex GF is sad and fckd up by this. Ya know what? It SUCKS baby girl but it happens. When Tino got a new GF i was hatin', please believe! lol. But i was still a fckn lady. And these people just need to hop off us honestly cos we just chillin and do what we do best: bein a bomb ass combo.lols. Word to the wise, f a l l. b a c k.

But Only Under Careful Consideration.

The more i stay here the more i continue to recall my French II Teacher's words. She looked me directly in the eye and what came from her mouth were words filled with the most genuity i have ever tasted:

"[Mid-sentence]Fuck this. Ya know? Fuck all this school, learning bullshit. You dont need this! When you graduate, I want you to leave. I want you to go and travel the world. I want you to see it all and experience everything you can, good or bad. Then you can come home and determine your career. I mean, how can you know what you wanna be when you dont know what all's out there?"


Im starting to think shge's on to something....
It's just crazy enough to work. You have to admit that she has a valid point although the details of this 'voyage' are rather vague and times have changed since she graduated. eh.

Where in the world will i be post graudation2010?

Dont Make Me Choose

Because it will be him. It's always been him.

I cant help feeling like somewhere down the line.





i took a horribly wrong turn.

&&Hold Your Lover Close

Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster.

Recently:

-I have officially declared Mia as the most fascinating person i know.

-I no longer want to be in a relationship with Valentino.

-I love and am going back to the music i used to listen to.

-This past summer was the most fun of my post-puebescent life.




Thank you Panic(!) At The Disco for this epiphany.

In the meantime, i've developed a rather disgusting obsession with Lady Gaga/Gaga Lad. Whichever you support/condone. If i had the choice after i die to be reincarnated into a white woman/man, he/she would be that person. :)

lol.

No Phone. It kinda sucks. especially when you start getting deep in a txtn convo and..BAM! Disconnected like a muggg lol. Oh well. Im still single....Surprisingly....Verrrry suprisingly. I havent talked to him in like 3 days and Im not sad yet.... This is starting to worry me.

So I Know You've All Heard

This is Hip Hop's Self-Proclaimed Greatest Rapper Alive's last mixtape before he goes to jail. Im not sure how you wouldn't know, but On Monday October 22, Weezy plead guilty to felony gun possession. Possession that happened like two years ago and he hasn't been in any trouble with the law ever since. Ugh the Law is so slooooow!



"Wayne will be sentenced in February 2010 and is expected to serve eight to 10 months, [assuming good behavior] as a part of his plea deal and must also give up his passport.. He must also appear in court in December for a parole update."

We'll Be Holdin' you down. That year will fly by! Promise!


....even though i damn near forgot about T.I. already lmao.

Simply Relaying The Message For All My Ladies: It is a proven fact that if women eat pineapple, then they'll give off a fruity, or better smelling, scent "down there". If you know what I'm saying. So! If you're feeling self-conscious about your umm.."scent", i suggest becoming BFFLz with pinapple. lol.

Wow so today got that much worse.

fucking infuriated !! spend all my fucking time doing NOTHING because your ass wants me to wait for uu then u dont even tell me ! u tell my fucking sister that we're breaking up! fuck you stupid ass triflin ass nigga. u have to be the absolute dumbest nigga i know. You tell me to grow up ? Youre a fucking adult and i act more mature than you. You dont wanna be with me? u wanna delete me break contact whatever, just know the feelings mutual bitch. Fucking alcoholic ass nigga. i thought i had bad mood swings but your shit is unbearable. you think youre all that cos of your fucking clothes but you have no fucking personality !! you just think your better than every one else. you have no fucking morals and you teach the same SHIT to your little sister. She has no fucking personality either. Youre dead to me nigga !!!!!!! RIP Valentino Lee

FEEEN

I'm definately craving some new music, my friend.



Show me what you got.

I Almost Forgot

i had this account. I'll try to update more often.

or at all.

No promises though. School's hecktic and all my boyfriends are alot to keep up with. Especially the important one lol. Tino needs to come home before i get too wraped in this highschool shit. I cant wait to fucking graduate and leave this shit hole.

And We Smoke Dat Kushhhh

I think i am developing a problem. Lmao. And plus all this court shit aint helpin my nerves. Oh yeah. It's been a while since i been on here. I got arrested and now i gotta go to court. My goddamn nerves are so bad. And i really cant even sleep. I hate sleepin alone now. I had my mom come home on her breeak unti i fell asleep. WTF. hahaha. There aint nohin i can do to fix it and i aint got no job soooooo. Imma just keep it burnin.

Let's Get Married

Jared Leto.


I forgot how fiiine you were.

I Wish I Could Still Call You a Friend

But I keep your memory.
You took my hand, you showed me
You promised me you'd be around.






You cant hug a memory.

Que sera, sera.

I read what everyone has written

About the recent death of michael jackson. But i dont think they are mourning for them. They are mourning for themselves. I cant help but feel that people love death. They cant get enough reasons to hug each other. A reason to cry, no, sob until their chest hurts. They feel justified to be emotional in this cold world, not because life is hard, but because now they have lost someone to lean on.

Im not really trying to get anywhere with this.


Just random thinking out loud.

You Taught Me

To say what i mean.
Mean what i say.
And know what the fuck im talking about.













'Cause you never know when you're gonna get called out.♥

Call me Stubborn Or even a Little Bit Cocky,

But i refuse to even think you're better than me.

You Lying Little SHIT.

After the sudden death of Michael Jackson Evan Chandler tells the truth.

In 1993, Chandler told a psychiatrist and police that he and Jackson had engaged in sexual acts that included oral sex, the boy gave detailed description of Jackson’s genitals. The case was settled out of court for a reported $22 million, but the strain led Jackson to begin taking painkillers. Eventually he became addicted.

Now maybe for the remorse of his death Chandler decides to tell us the truth. ” I never meant to lie and destroy Michael Jackson but my father made me to tell only lies. Now i can’t tell Michael how much i’m sorry and if he will forgive me ”.Evan Chandler was tape-recorded saying amongst other things, “If I go through with this, I win big-time. There’s no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever…

Under the influence of a controversial father (Jordan Chandler) told his son to tell that Jackson had touched his penis.Jordan Chandler then told a psychiatrist and later police that he and Jackson had engaged in acts of kissing, masturbation and oral sex, as well as giving a detailed description of what he alleged were the singer’s genitals.
” Now for the first time i can’t bare to lie anymore. Michael Jackson didn’t do anything to me, all was my father lies to escape from being poor.”



Trapper of the year. You killed a man. Not just a man, Michael Jackson dawwg. Am i the only person who thinks he should go to jail for this? Isn't that lying under oath?? Pugeory?? All that shit. If it was up to me, you'd be doin time, j0.

Precious

Shouts to Yina for the heads up

This looks like it's gonna be really emotional. I was gettin really into it just watchin the preview. Definately gonna keep my eyes peeled for a release date<3

Kitty Purry

Clever.

We know you're the best, dickhead.

stfu.

I Swear to GOD im not a hater

But your website sucks sonn.

I never watched this

Assistin like a 'mug.

I'd be scared as fuck

if i owned this shell.


Otherwise, i'd be in there stuffing myself with Arizonas, God's gift to the thirsty.

Lala Vasquez-Anthony VS Cassie

Same side and everything...
Cassie is prettier, but
i prefer the hairstyle on Lala. :}
Court ajourned!

Dont Ask Me Why

But i almost came a little when i saw this.
Im a shoe fanatic. I need help.

Obsessed

This show is fucking gross.

"We Clappin up thee Whole House!!"

Next Chapter

I am starting to totally adore this woman physically.



Style. Body. Charisma. Everything.



Totally smash. lol.

Put Me ON

BROKE ANKLE!

Weekend Boy

Listen: Had it for a while now. I can officially recommend it

FUCK i miss my boyfriend so much. I know i havent been the best girlfriend but when he said it, i got kinda sad. Cos i had so much faith in him that he was gonna be a terrible boyfriend. Now im the one fuckin up. He probably really loves me. Every guy is buggin me now cos it just reminds me how i really miss him. And these niggas are a bunch of busters and scrubs. Lol.

But there's nothing funny about that.

Slapz

I know this shit it old.
But it beats.






Speakin of The Pack, Stunnaman is a joke.
And Lil B aint my favorite neither.
:/

Haygood--Too Good

Always thought you were too good.
I really dont even like you that way.
I like who you are.
I do not like 'us'.

You know who you are
I know who i'm not.

Ah man

i gotta keep posting shit to get that one entry to like go away. lol. i dont wanna delete it but uh. its kinda GAY.


i love how all of your friends
write a few lines.
Couple random phrases.
Some onomatopoeias.
And call it 'great poetry'.


its garbage. All of it.

Saw this a few weeks ago

just never feel like posting shit these days.
Or those days.






There are too many damn animals here.

If you gon cheat with em make sure you gon lay down to da dirt wit em.

In order to move

away from the bullshitty last post,
im gonna steal carte's survey.





Are you ready for some questions that you barely find in other surveys?
sure

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before?
yeah

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth?
yup. saw it too.

Do any of your top friends have a tongue ring?
No

Do any of your top friends have a nose ring?
Me.

When will be the next time you text someone?
Whenever megan replies

How much money did you spend today?
None. Pockets are hungry

What will you be doing tomorrow?
Going on a hot date to the avenue to get ice cream.
I do not want to.
I only want to go on hot dates with tino.


Have you ever cried while in the shower?
wth no..

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
yes lol

How do you feel about your hair right now?
i wanna dye it.

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?
yes


Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
not personally.

Last person you talked on the phone with?
Tassel

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?
Annoying people.

What are you looking forward to right now?
Getting a new job

Do you miss someone?
sure

If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
nah mann

What did you do today?
nothing. it'a 9am

Have you ever done anything illegal?
yup


Where will you be 5 hours from now?
Jazmines birthday thing

Today did you hug a person you have feelings for?
no

Do you wish someone would turn up at your front door right now?
Dear. God. Yes.


Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Last person= roger? kayla?
both yes.

Do you want any children?
2 boys.

What was the last thing you really laughed about?
uhh. dont remeber

Last 3 people to send a comment on myspace to you?
roger.roger.roger.

Is there something you're happy about at the moment?
sure. but i ust cant remeber at the moment

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
awake.

How many piercings do you have?
7

Do you want someone dead?
nope

How old do you look?
?

Have you seen any of the Saw movies?
all

What are you looking forward to next weekend?
new pussy.
lol idk


Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Ahhhh. No lol

What are you listening to right now?
DOM. the mixtape that i cannot download.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
Yeah.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
No

When is your b-day?
April

Do you like movie nights?
no. im not patient enough for movies.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
whatever me and tino were talkin bout.

Whats your first thought when you woke up this morning?
wtf is megan talkin bout

Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
school. It's just not for me.

Who was the last person you went out to eat with?
rakediz

How are you feeling right now?
tired. annoyed. anxious


Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
yeah

Do you have an older brother?
six

Whats on your bed?
covers

Where was the last place you went besides your house?
hot date

Are you an emotional person?
no

Any regrets in the past week?
hell no.

Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to anymore?
old pussy


Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
no

Who was the last person's voice you heard?
dom

Tell me about the shirt you are wearing?
it's black. it has obama on it. it's a medium. so. it's too big

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
no

Who was the last person you sat on the couch with?
dont matter

What is bothering you right now?
alot

Do you hate the last person you kissed?
no

Have you fell asleep in someone's arms?
i dont like to be held lmao

Last movie you watched?
dun remember

Where is your phone?
on charge

What color are your eyes?
light brown

Who has the same phone as you?
plenty.

"I Never Gave A Fuck

I never gave a fuck about what niggas thought about me. I mean i did, but fuck it. Ya know?"

I wanna teach my kids. I wanna teach my kid sister. I wanna teach my baby sister. That it is OKAY. To be yourself even if it is a little different. it sounds cliche but it's tru and i cant stress it enough. YOU should be the only person to matter to YOU. I wanna let my little sister know because i know i give her trouble all the time and she's just a kid. She fights me off well but i feel guilty because she reminds me of myself when i was younger. And i know how she feels even though she acts like that shit doesn't matter. I know how it's gonna catch up with her later and what it's gonna do when it does. I always catch myself harrassing her and emotionally just destroying her. And im like "Wait. Isn't this the reason im fucked up now? Didnt i let kids in school do this to me? Aren't i still emotionally and mentally traumatized from this?" I can only pray she's stronger than me..

School was not fun for me.
To say the very least.
It was a very isolated and lonely time.
And kids are mean.
Vicious.
To me.
They were anyway.

And it's weird to think how they always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. So i always thought there was. But i always thought it would be so much harder to try and fit in. If im cool, im cool. If im not, im me. Im not gonna be good at being you because that's not who i was made to be.

"My mind is all hazy, hazy, hazy, hazy...
I be thinkin that I'm wrong,
Cuz they used to call me lame, lame, lame, lame...
My swag was a little different
But then my mind is hazy, hazy, hazy, hazy...
I be thinkin that I'm wrong,
But they the ones who lame, lame, lame, lame...
I got the last laugh nigga"

Sometimes it's still hard.
The main point of all this:
Love your kids. Your sisters. Your sons. Your friends. Love them but teach them to love themselves.

Listen while you observe :D!







and

DUB ZER0

Scream My Name..

Oh Jimmy!








Pow.

Madd Old

Im not a J0ey fan, per se, but the shit he wrote was kinda ill.
Charles is good but nobody likes a nappy nigga.
Check That.

Hide and Go Beat

Lol. I still feel kinda shitty. Just jumpy now. Uhm. Im rethinking my summer plans. Im unemployed. Very broke. and very halfway songle. I was very drunk and very into white guys for 12 hours. Hahahahahahaha. Luke. Great kisser. He's fuckin like..not my type though. Just a good kisser. I feel like i could throw up everywhre. Gross. i got jerkin downnnn son. Fuck all that reject shit. I need somethin/someone to do this summer. Im fuckin bored as shit


I HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER! HE LIVES WITH ME!
CONGRATULATIONS!! IT'S A BOY!!!!

On? Off? Switch.

I am at kayla's house and ive managed to fuck up soooo much in a matter of 12 hours.

Marcel is fuckin livid again.
Ed feels stupid cos i basically ditched him.
[actually ed always does this shit. we ask him to come or tell him a certain time to come and he just doesnt give a fuck and shows up whenever. but i kind of had good reason cos i really didnt want him to see me like that. He has before i mean. idk. Just didnt.]

Well.
LAter.
Speaking of, Celly leaves for cali on Saturday.
Damn here it goes again. You guessed it. There's goes another boyfriend.

Stray

Too my bittersweet realization, my father is getting a new job.
To many, this is great. "what's wrong wit you girl?? We in a recession. He need to make that money."

To me, my job flies out the window.

Yeah thats great and all. He's working. Money comes.
We're happy. We love each other. Im a spoiled
piece-of-shit-child again.

Only one car. No job. No need for licence. No reason to leave
the place i hate. Walls are closin on me. Everyone's had the
feeling. I am being smothered by the predictable. I need a vacation.

And so-forth.















While wading in my self-pity and selfishness, i forgot to congratulate you.


Way-to-go.

Je le veux

Cute.
Not the girl.



hahahaha, i was watchin FG and stewie saw the family comin home and he was like

"Oh, Lois! Fat man! Chris! Dog! Brian!"

hahaha. I didn't get it at first but then i nearly died.
Poor, Meg. lmao.

Get Back to What Matters

School is officially [almost] out. Good thing too. Cos i had [almost] gave up. Single. In a sense. So im gonna go through this summer and just keep workin. Keep tryna get my car. Keep trying to make descent friends cos so far...Haha. They're not all bad! Just flaky. Not made outta much. i need em

Valentino Tassle Lee

I dont know what's gonna happen with us.

We are at two different parts of our lives.

Too different.

I cant knock you though,

You're grown.

Too grown to be doing anything other than this.

As for me...

Well.

J'adore Noir.

Really. I do. He is beautifully talented. Love his voice. Sounds like Q-Tip. Only Normal. lol. Figure it's bout that time i get a new job. Havent been too serious about it but now im ready to cop summer gear. Ugh. i hate this part.











I wish there was a holiday or somethin near-by so someone could just buy this shit for me.


Im not a spoiled kid anymore.

Phone Stolen

R.I.P
Ice Chocolate.

08-2008---05-2009

:'[

Fear

What are you scared of.
Why cant you ever stand up for me?
Are you ashamed of me.
Do you love her?
That thirsty bitch.
YOu can love ehr but know it will never be
the love m and you had.
You can love thousands of other girls.
Just knoow i was the only one that mattered.
We were supposed to be 'it'.
Get a grip.
I cant just defens myself.
especially when im not around.
if you love mmeb you wouldnt let er talk
about me like that.
Whats even worsse you probably laugh too. I dont care
that seh's talkin shit. i dont care what she saying.
I care that you DONT.
Im ya girl. For now. Please. Appreciate it.
Defend it. Want it.

I know i love you. I know i've never loved anything the way i love you.
I donteven know what you call it..

Fuck THIS

I Dont trust him.
I Dont respect him.
I Dont believe him.
I miss him.
I love him.

I cant live my life this way...

It's Somethin Bout This Boy

Even If he showed up in this with a straight face i would still totally jump his bones.

One Two Tres

Sexy ass Men
One

Two

Tres





:(! Whyyyyyyy

Sexy Ass Women
One

Two

Tres
(As much as i dislike this dumb brawd]