I never gave a fuck about what niggas thought about me. I mean i did, but fuck it. Ya know?"
I wanna teach my kids. I wanna teach my kid sister. I wanna teach my baby sister. That it is OKAY. To be yourself even if it is a little different. it sounds cliche but it's tru and i cant stress it enough. YOU should be the only person to matter to YOU. I wanna let my little sister know because i know i give her trouble all the time and she's just a kid. She fights me off well but i feel guilty because she reminds me of myself when i was younger. And i know how she feels even though she acts like that shit doesn't matter. I know how it's gonna catch up with her later and what it's gonna do when it does. I always catch myself harrassing her and emotionally just destroying her. And im like "Wait. Isn't this the reason im fucked up now? Didnt i let kids in school do this to me? Aren't i still emotionally and mentally traumatized from this?" I can only pray she's stronger than me..
School was not fun for me.
To say the very least.
It was a very isolated and lonely time.
And kids are mean.
Vicious.
To me.
They were anyway.
And it's weird to think how they always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. So i always thought there was. But i always thought it would be so much harder to try and fit in. If im cool, im cool. If im not, im me. Im not gonna be good at being you because that's not who i was made to be.
"My mind is all hazy, hazy, hazy, hazy...
I be thinkin that I'm wrong,
Cuz they used to call me lame, lame, lame, lame...
My swag was a little different
But then my mind is hazy, hazy, hazy, hazy...
I be thinkin that I'm wrong,
But they the ones who lame, lame, lame, lame...
I got the last laugh nigga"
Sometimes it's still hard.
The main point of all this:
Love your kids. Your sisters. Your sons. Your friends. Love them but teach them to love themselves.
